


The Descent Into Hell Is Easy

by MayorOfCanTown



Category: Homestuck, Shadowhunters, The Mortal Instruments
Genre: F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Magic, Runes, Vampires, Warlocks, Werewolves, john is clary, shadowhunters au, the kids are shadowhunters, the trolls are (mostly) downworlders
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-10
Updated: 2018-09-10
Packaged: 2019-07-10 15:49:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15952538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MayorOfCanTown/pseuds/MayorOfCanTown
Summary: “It’s a... family heirloom. It’s called a stele,” he posits, gesturing for you to pick it up, which you do.“The Egberts have heirlooms?”“A couple,” he says, face totally straight. Shit, he looks serious. “John, you’re 18 now, and we need to have a talk.”NB: you do not need to know both homestuck and shadowhunters/mortal instruments to read this





	The Descent Into Hell Is Easy

**Author's Note:**

> Yall here we fucking go
> 
> This is gonna almost entirely follow the shadowhunters universe as depicted by the TV show and also going to loosely follow the plot, at least at first
> 
> Hope you enjoy!!!

“Happy birthday, son. I’m so proud of you.”

Your name is John Egbert, and today is your 18th birthday, which you think you can gather using context clues, a healthy common sense, and the present that your dad is handing to you.

“Thanks, dad!” You take the gift from him and smile up at him, before slowly unwrapping.

 

Times like this, when it’s just the two of you, are the sort of times that you really enjoy. Of course, it’s only ever been the two of you, but with Aradia moving in and out of the bakery, and Nepeta seeming to constantly be over, talking to your dad about police work and all sorts, you don’t get as much time as you used to.

 

It’s always been the two of you against the world, though, and it always will be.

 

And besides, he’s the best at presents... is what you think, before you unwrap the box that contains a thick stick of metal, sort of triangular, almost like a really fancy pen with no nib.

 

“Uh...?” You start, not really sure how to pose the question in your head.

 

“It’s a... family heirloom. It’s called a stele,” he posits, gesturing for you to pick it up, which you do.

“The Egberts have heirlooms?”

“A couple,” he says, face totally straight. Shit, he looks serious. “John, you’re 18 now, and we need to have a talk.” Oh. False alarm. You groan and roll your eyes at him.

“Daaaaad! You’ve already done the sex talk with me, and you know I’m not drinking or doing drugs.” You spin the stele in your fingers, feeling its weight. “And you know I promised Karkat we could do lunch with Terezi!”

 

“This is a much more important talk than those. I really wish I hadn’t kept this from you so long but I need to-“ He’s interrupted by the bell from the bakery door downstairs.

“Listen, dad. Thank you so much for the gift. I love it. I really do. But I gotta go get that! And I promise, we can talk over dinner, okay?”

You smile and him, and he returns it. “Absolutely.” He kisses you on the forehead and sends you off. “Use protection!” he shouts after you, and you groan again.

“You know I don’t like him like that!”

“Yeah, but I also know how funny it is. Love you!”

 

You wave once more before sliding down the spiral staircase into the back room of the bakery and opening the door, seeing a not-too-impatient Karkat waiting, sat at a table, tearing into an innocent tart.

 

“Thanks, Aradia. You know you don’t have to feed him, yeah?” He flips you off at that, and waves his receipt.

“Who am I to turn down paying customers?” She chirps. “Happy birthday, John. Have a fantastic day.”

“Thank you!” You dart off, grabbing Karkat by the shoulder and pulling. “Are we getting lunch, or are you going to fill up on baked goods?”

 

“Fuck you! Fuck you six ways from Sunday, John Egbert.” The door rings, and closes behind you. “If, after 11 years of knowing me, you think I can’t have baked goods, and eat lunch, and fuck with you all at the same time, I’ve clearly done a piss-poor job of communication.”

 

You punch him playfully, and keep pulling him along until he finally starts to carry his own weight. “You should consider yourself lucky I offered to third wheel to you two. On my birthday, even!” You say, smirking.

 

“We’re not fucking- urgh. I’m not even interested in her!”

“Well, she’s totally into you.”

“Do you honestly think I plan on taking romantic advice from John Fucking Egbert? You’re clueless as shit. Ten bucks says she isn’t.”

“You’re on,” you say, shaking his hand.

 

* * *

 

Mortified, you hide your face in your sundae and try to blot out the usually uplifting sound of Terezi’s cackle.

“You thought I wanted to DATE KARKAT?” She lets it out again, breathless and a little nasal. You slide a ten across to Karkat, still refusing to look up. “I’m blind, John. Not stupid.”

 

“Yeah- HEY! You would be so lucky to have a fucking boyfriend like me.”

“Oh, so you wanna date?”

“No! I’m not fucking interested in you!”

“Oh, Karkat, you wound me so...”

 

“I,” you announce, getting to your feet, “am going to get some fresh air.”

“Also, you can’t stand Karkat bitching like a little bitch boy.”

“Pretty much.” You shoot him a wink and he throws a few colourful swears your way as you leave the front door of the restaurant on to the busy street, just as a guy about your age knocks right into your shoulder. As you whip around, you see his blond hair and douchebag sunglasses, and know exactly the type you’re dealing with. He doesn’t even turn around, but he did stumble a bit.

 

“Hey! Are you alright?” Stopping dead in his tracks, he spins on his heel and looks you dead in the eye - at least, you think he does. The shades are dumb.

“You can see me?” He asks, as if that’s the most obvious question to ask in this situation. As you’re about to respond, a pair of girls appear off to the side, and you notice all three of them have tattoos sprawling all across their body. The blonde seems to command crazy authority, just with the way she holds herself, while the brunette is a tad less composed.

“Dave, stop staring at some mundane and focus.”

“Come on! Shapeshifter? Pandemonium? Chaos and destruction?”

 

“Coming, Jade. He has The Sight, I think.”

 

And suddenly, all three of them are gone, and there’s no proof that they were ever even there.

 

* * *

 

John: be James.

 

Just as you Be James, the phone rings.

 

“Hey. Did you tell him?”

“Not yet, Nep. He can have one more lunchtime of being a kid, yeah?”

“You already left it far too long, James. You know how I feel about this!”

“I’m just protecting him!”

“You’re not protecting him. You’re lying to him. You need to tell him the truth!”

“Tonight. I promise.”

**Author's Note:**

> WHY CONTINUE ONE OF YOUR LIKE 40 UNFINISHED WORKS WHEN YOU CAN START A BRAND NEW ONE
> 
> I’ll write a second chapter if people are interested!!
> 
> Please comment, it is my lifeblood  
> Criticism is welcome!!
> 
> Thank you :B


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